Anxiety- a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.
My first experience with anxiety was when I was 16 years old. My grandfather whom I was used to seeing at this point on a daily basis, passed away suddenly. It was like he was there and then he wasn’t. I had just seen him the past Sunday at church. He was fine, so it seemed. He went to the hospital on Monday. By Wednesday evening, he was gone. This totally sent me spiraling. Because excuse me, but what in the world just happened. I remember wondering if this is how life goes. Going from everything being normal to everything changing within a moment. I remember wondering was I next up. It took me a long time to shake that one. By the way, I have always had a small issue with separation anxiety. Anytime my Dad had to go somewhere, I just had a fear of if he would return or not. Ehhh, it may be an issue of too many movies. Who knows. But a sista was always nervous and worried. As I grew older, change was just something I did not like. Once I got married, I experienced anxiety like never before. My life had changed. I was in a different home from my parents and siblings. It was weird. My daily routine was changed. So was my daily conversations. I know you may be thinking but sis this what you signed up for. Yeah I did. But who in the heck knew it would be so darn different??? I moved from a loud house into a house with someone who didn’t like to talk as much. I was shook. It just seemed that nothing made any sense. How do I change this? How do I get back to me? I had absolutely NO clue. What I did know is that I needed God to help me before things went way too far. I wish I could tell you I had the answer but I didn’t. I prayed and cried a lot. At that time, that’s all I knew to do.
Disclaimer… If you suffer from anxiety and/or depression. There is help for you. This is nothing that you have to deal with on your own.
Resources:
Text 988 to speak with a crisis counselor via text. Available 24/7
www.betterhelp.com - Better help offer counseling that can be done in the comfort of your home. Payment plans are offered.
Bible:
Phillipians 4:6-7 6 Don’t worry about anything, but pray and ask God for everything you need, always giving thanks for what you have.7 And because you belong to Christ Jesus, God’s peace will stand guard over all your thoughts and feelings. His peace can do this far better than our human minds.
Keep mending,
Lavonya